Today is
by Thatzgirl1
Summary: Dean has figured out why Castiel's absence has left him broken and what's worse it was all his fault Castiel was gone now he had to live with this pain for the rest of his miserable life... rated M for later chapters possible sexual situations.
1. Chapter 1

Dean Winchester was throwing one of his famous bitch fits currently not speaking to his brother or his Father figure to be honest with himself he was sulking on the sofa sipping a beer in Bobby's house okay at home (Bobby's place has always been home to him). His angel was gone! The one person in Dean's life that Dean counted on always being around even after Dean himself was dead. No Cas was dead because of Dean because he hadn't taken the time to listen to his Angel's apologies now all that was left for Dean a fading hand print a handful of wanting moments, lustful unfulfilled desires and 3 smiles but he only counted 2. He also knew the reason he and Lisa or he and any woman would never work they weren't Castiel his pouty angelic tax accountant no one was as innocent nor as honest and open no one else looked in to Dean's soul and actually say is was beautiful, Not even Dean himself he knew what he was a jaded heartless bastard that could only love one being the being that saved him from hell the Hell he deserved to rot in. And a dirty torn tan trench coat that still held Castiel's unique sent the odd Hazelnut sunshine smell that only belonged to Cas. He sipped at his beer nursing it slowly mind elsewhere his world was now empty and now he was tormented not with monsters and ghosts they had decreased in activity since they beat down the Laviathins, no now he was tormented with the what ifs of his life and the he should have done . He was a cursed man to see those damn blue eyes every time he closed his green ones there was Cas's face a small grin playing on his lips his name uttered in a soft gravely voice. It was to late for him he had made his Hell and now he was gonna live thru it untill he died he would happily see Cas every time he shut his eyes this was all he deserved of the Angle of Thursday. Hell he never deserved Cas and secretly thanked Cas's asshole of a Father for giving him Cas for even a temporary length of time. Rubbing a large hang over his worn face he felt much older then his 33 year old body actually was his mind stuck on his Angel best friend. All he had was Sammy and Bobby now they were all that was left of the people Dean Winchester called family.

Dean heard the phone ring behind him and Bobby speaking to someone on the other line Dean shifted and stretched knowing what came next.

"Got you a game Igjit outside Omaha, Nebraska possible Demon get the moose and get your asses there." Bobby yelled from the office.

"Got it Bobby were gone be back in a few weeks call you when we get there." He yelled back walking to the coat tree pulling off his leather coat and pulling out the keys to his baby walking out of the house and pulling open the door to the old girl. He patted her cab top and sat himself in his seat started her up and left Bobby's to go peel his little brother away from the library. Given the choice Dean would rather fight a Lavaithain by himself then try and drag Sammy out of the library but unfortunately he didn't have much choice. It was gonna be one of those days he just had a feeling...

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He woke feeling his grace intact feeling himself in a vessel, his vessel, Jimmy's body, the warm light behind his eyelids beckoned him to open his tired eyes. He did looking up at his elder brother's Michael stood recreating faithful Jimmy's body his glance strayed to Gabriel who smiled brightly joker alive and well the thought brought Castiel happiness Sam Winchester would be thrilled to have the jokester back.

"Brother you are awake welcome back" Michael smiled fondly Castiel sat up slowly.

"I was no more Michael why bring me back." Castiel spoke voice wobbling and stiff.

"Lets just say there are two brothers causing the angels who replaced us nothing but headaches seems were the only ones who care about them enough to not smite them Cassy." Gabriel's voice bounced happily at seeing his favorite little brother alive and well.

"You have a choice Castiel you can return to sleep or go to earth and stay with the Winchester's, I'm in charge now and you deserve a brake." Michael's voice was soft reminiscent of Castiels youth when he would ask his brother questions.

"I could have Dean?" He asked bluntly Castiel never changes (much).

"If that's what you chose little brother then yes. You are free to do whatever you want Castiel. I'm taking over heaven you were right little brother things need to change for the better we need to start caring about Earth and the humans father created. Thank you for helping me to see that Father would have wanted to protect them." Michael smiled and received a big grin from the small angel Castiel's smiles were rare Michael wished he could package Castiel's smiles and keep them but they didn't belong to him his Father had made his wishes clear. Castiel loved Dean, Dean loved Castiel they deserved the chance they were never given the chance to be happy together.

"Yes brother I want to go home to Dean, Sam and Bobby. But this body is Jimmy he should have it he sacrificed enough for Father." Castiel replied Gabriel and Michael smiled

"Actually little brother this is the body I crafted for you its similar to Jimmy's features are softer younger but similar you could pass for his younger brother Jimmy is happily home with his family in his newly healed body. Dean and Sam will know its you don't fret Castiel." Michael replied and earned himself a hug Castiel had flung himself on his older brother sobbing it was short lived but Michael was happy he could make his little brother who had fallen just to do what he thought was right.

"My Own Body Thank You Michael!" Castiel stood slowly testing it out then glancing up at Gabriel. "Come on Gabe lets go home!" Castiel smiled holding out a hand to his brother who pooped a lollipop into existence holding it out to Michael who took it smiling. He grabbed Castiel's hand and they whooshed away to their humans. Leaving their oldest brother watching after them fondly. Michael unwrapped the lollipop and placed it in his mouth letting the sweet flavor surprise him.

Today was a good day to be Michael, he was home in heaven it was peaceful the humans were safer then they had been in decades, His two favorite little brothers were going to the people who loved and treasured them, He never had to listen to Dean Winchester's prayer's to and about Castiel again. The world was whole and full of a little more love proud of himself for the first time in centuries Michael started walking to his favorite garden enjoying the lollipop in his mouth.

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Dean rubbed his left arm he had dislocated it ganking the demon Bobby had sent them after, He sat alone in the hotel room rubbing it while Sammy was at the store picking up some bandages he'd need to bind it to his side for a few days and wanted a shower before he had to endure that particular adventure. So far he had dragged his shirt over his head one armed and had toed his shoes off standing and kicking them off undoing his belt he groaned stiffly managing to get his pants unbuttoned them he didn't hear the sound of two angles arrive behind him over his cussing.

"Damn getting to damn old for this hunter business." Dean reached up rubbing his shoulder groaning. "Wish Sammy would hurry up and get back to set this damn shoulder." He muttered unaware he had two angel's starring at his back he didn't know the angel's were starring at the new tattoo on his back one Sammy hadn't even seen CASTIEL's name in beautiful signet letters spread across his back shoulder to shoulder. He heard a loud gasp behind him he turned around expecting Sammy what he saw was a young blue eyed man crying and standing next to him was Gabriel.

"Uh Hey Dean-o uh were back as you can see alive and kicking you and Cassy here have much to talk about I'm going to go find Sammy." The Archangel waved and poped out leaving Dean and the young Angel? Wait did Gabriel say Cassy Gabriel only called one person Cassy much to that angel's anger. Dean looked down into unnatural blue eyes those eyes the very same that haunted him he fell to his knees in front of the young angel.

"Cas? Castiel?" Dean asked tentatively reverently saying his angel's name kneeling infront of this younger version of Jimmy Novak. The blue eyed cutie nodded and dean felt it the tug at his soul and he knew his Angel was back.

"Dean." Was all said angel could manage between sobbes then finally. "My name you have my name why?" Castiel looked down at the hunter kneeled before him.

"So I wouldn't forget whom I belonged to heart body and soul, so no woman would ever try me again I belong fully to you. My angel who raised me from Perdition. I wanted something permanent to honor the being whom I owed so much to your hand print has faded so much I wanted something that would never fade I would have carved it into my bones if I could but had to settle for this. I loved you to much to let you go i didn't realize it until you were dead and now you've come to take me with you my love I'm ready to die I'm glad he sent you to do it." Dean gazed up at blue eyes and smiled his worn body feeling lighter then it had in years he had his confession and now he could die and be with his Angel in heaven. A small warm hand touched his hurt shoulder just over the hand print amazingly it still fit perfect even thou Cas was no longer in Jimmy's body Dean had always secretly thought it wasn't about Cas's containers hand but was a reflection of his real hand, and now he found out he was right it didn't matter what container Cas was in the hand would always match perfectly Like Cinderella's slipper He smiled welcoming the death he would be given.

"No Dean I'm not here to take your life I'm here to share it with you." Castiel smiled at the things Dean was thinking it made him realize he already knew how much Dean loved him he was just to afraid to show it.

"Share it? What do you mean Cas?" He rose from his knees and stood he was several inches taller then Cas now this new vessel was so small too thin softer leaner more of how dean always pictured the real Cas looking.

"I'm home Dean I'm staying for good I'm alive Michael made me this body to live in. So I could come home to you." Cas smiled up at Dean he kinda liked being a little shorter it made Dean's eyes look down at him and see his new body in the green orbs he still resembled Jimmy but it was as Michael said younger cleaner looking smooth cheeks soft dark hair same smile just younger looking . When Castiel said home he had come home to Dean, Dean Winchester did something he would never regret doing he curled his finger's around Castiel's chin and Kissed the surprisingly soft lips softly an sweet knowing Cas was a virgin he'd savor every Kiss every touch he'd love his Angel fully give him everything he deserved and Cas deserved Dean at his oohwey gooey musingly sweetest. He reluctantly pulled out of the most perfect kiss he had ever given or received and looked down into bright blue orbs.

"Marry me Cas?" Dean asked softly knowing it was do or die better late then never and every other cliche in the book.

"Bout time you asked me you stupid Hunter." Cas smirked his adorable smirk and Dean was a goner again...

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This was just a little fun may add more later but i just had to get this first bit out its been in my brain for weeks and it was making me crazy hope you liked its not much but it was cute in my head.

Thatz


	2. Chapter 2

Sam Winchester was tired, tired of fighting, tired of Demon's killing his family killing the people he cared about, he was tired of traveling tired of looking, he wanted to go home, the only home he had left Bobby's he wanted to stop to finish school to find a road that lead him to the one person whom he wouldn't see not until he was dead. He would gather the pocket sized Angel up and hold on until the world ended. He had loved people before the Angel, Jessica sweet kind normal Jessica she didn't deserve what the demons did to her and he prayed that's she was in heaven and happy. He had even loved Ruby in a way, Ruby had saved him after a fashion helped him survive until Cas saved Dean from hell. Thinking of his Brother's Angel made him grin a little He missed his Angelic friend but thinking of Cas made him think of eye's of gold almost liquid like in quality Sam could have melted into those eyes and been happy how he had loved looking down into them and seeing his tall frame reflected there. He had loved the damn nosy trickster and wanted to scoop him up and tuck him up into his arms and kiss that damn grin off his lips and replace it with the softer real smile He knew Gabriel kept locked up for only Sam's eyes.

Sam knew he had loved the Archangel the moment he had seen the Archangel's eyes soften after looking deep in Sam's soul and heard his soft voice no teasing and serious say.

"You poor kid such a soft sweet soul you have its strong because of your pain oh Sammy you hold on to every hurt so easy. It's so beautiful even with all the scars it carries." and then the Archangel cried he had teared up for Sam Winchester's soul and Sam did the only thing he could think of and scooped the tiny Angel up and held him while he cried into Sam's shoulder.

And now wandering thru this small store looking for first aid supplies he wished he could have thanked the angel for his tears now after Gabriel died and after being in Hell he knew he didn't deserve the Archangel's tears ever... But he was thankful for each and every tear Gabriel had shed for him for the demon. That was truly how he saw himself he had done bad things to people some of them were very good people just living life but Gabriel had taken away those feelings from Sam. He reached the bandages and grabbed several boxes just because He was a hunter even if it wasn't what he wanted or what Dean wanted for him its what he was period it was what he born to do hunt the bad things to keep the innocent people safe it's what he owed the world. God willing or whoever was in charge these days he'd redeem himself enough to get to heaven he owed Jessica a conversation he also owed his mother a hug and kiss and He owed Gabriel his soul. He just hoped he would be allowed to give them the things he owed them because without them he would have not existed. The three people had loved him so much they willingly died for Sam well His mother and Gabriel had Jessica by mistake and he owed her the reason she died. He was so lost in thought he paid for the bandages and walked to the Impala on automatic pilot he'd even gotten in the drivers seat. And sat smelling the leather a fond smell from his childhood on the road with his Father and Dean. His eyes were so focused on the steering wheel feeling the groves worn into her from the three Winchester's hands, rubbing his long fingers over her he didn't see the very Angel that filled his every thought. Gabriel was silent watching the giant of a man lost in thought. Sam sat for a while thinking about his father and Dean and Cas and Gabriel he started talking to the Impala softly.

"Hated Dad for so long he never saw us as his Son's Dean and Sam He saw the next Winchester hunters it pissed me off so much when he didn't have the answers I wanted. I wanted out from the beginning funny how now I cant get out it's ingrained into me now. He got me so mad I left went as far away from the life as I could get collage and meet Jessica I should never have gotten involved with her I should have known anyone who gets involved with Sam Winchester Dies. Mom, Jess, Dad, Dean, Gabriel,Jo,Ellen,Cas,Bobby Everyone and only Bobby and Dean came back. And I went to Hell I still get nightmares which is why I try not to sleep much the only thing that keeps them at bay are memories of him. How I miss him those damn eyes of his how tiny his vessel was for being a Archangel's vessel he barely came to my shoulder so small but so insanely powerful. Ah old girl sorry your probably tired of hearing about our pathetic life but you have been the only constant in our life other then Bobby. I'm so lost right now guess I just needed a little Impala therapy sorry lets get back to the hotel Dean will have my head for being gone so long." Sam smiled shifting to reach in to his right jean pocket for the keys he saw someone sitting in the passenger seat looking at him with a small smile on his face.

"Hi Sammy." The archangel said softly looking at Sam's awestruck face.

"Gabriel." Sam began unsure of what to say. "I'm dead aren't I i flipped the Impala and Dean killed me?" Sam asked thinking it was the only explanation for the Archangel appearing to him Gabriel shook his head no smiling.

"No Sammy I'm home that is if you'll let me stay with you." Gabriel said softly he saw Sammy's jaw drop when the trickster said home to stay in his I'm not joking voice.

"Home you think I'm home?" Sam managed to get out

"Sammy your the only home I've had in my entire existence. You, Dean-o, Cassy, are my home and I wont wait in heaven for the rest of your life I want to spend eternity with you not just your life or your afterlife I want every second every day every moment I can share of your life with you and then when your life is over we'll retire to heaven and spend eternity their eating your mom's pie with Dean and playing tricks on your old man with Cassy, Drinking beer's with Bobby. What do you say Sammy?" Gabriel smiled softly up at the large hunter. Sam reached over with one large hand and brushed Gabriel's cheek softly with his thumb then shifted foreword pulling the Archangel closer to him and meet the angel's lips softly reverently. Sam Winchester was in that moment whole Gabriel filled the hole left in Sam's heart and soul that no other being human, or demon ever filled the hole belonged to Gabriel and everything the archangel was. They shared the soul searing kiss lingering lovingly slowly pulling away when Sam needed to breath.

"Welcome Back Gabe." Was all the young hunter could say a beautiful real smile spread across the angel of mischief's face he looked at heaven on earth Gabriel was everything he could have ever wanted smart, witty, funny, busted Dean's balls constantly, made Sam's life more liveable made life fun again filled the brooding man with sunshine and candy corn. And Sam was grateful to whomever decided he the demon boy deserved his very own pocket sized Archangel.

"Good to be back lets go back to the motel and bug Dean-o and Cassy." The trickster smiled plan forming already.

"You got it Gabe anything when you annoy the hell outta my brother he's gonna be so pissed I chose to mate with you. And is Cas is back to?" Sam laughed already knowing his angel would mark him and then they'd be a bonded pair like Cas and Dean were. He started the Impala Archangel riding shotgun.

"Yep just for Dean-o think, Will Dean will get his head out of his ass and finally tell my little brother how he feels?" Gabriel shot back happily slumping into the warm leather seat.

"Oh he will Dean has been so bitchy without Cas He'll do anything to keep him around for ever even if that means a 'Chick flick moment'." Sam chuckled happily pulling out of the parking lot deciding he was starved he happily drove to the best drive thru with his Archangel laughing in the seat next to him and for the first time since before his father died he was completely and utterly blissfully happy...

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Hey all sorry its so short these are just lots of fluff I know but I will eventually get to a point I want them to and they are painfully slow coming out of my head.. Thanks for reading..

~ Thatz ~


	3. Chapter 3

He was laying on the cheep motel bed with a angel laying in his arms and he was happy his Angel was home back with him he pulled in a heavy breath smelling the hazelnut and sunshine that was uniquely Cas. He lay content to not move he had his Angel in his arms the monsters that go bump in the night were quiet for once in his life and Dean Winchester could take a brake.  
Apparently his Angel wanted to talk for Cas shifted in his arms and leaned to look up at him Dean cracked a green eye open and found two deep blue ones staring back at him.

"Dean." Cas started looking afraid Dean sighed not wanting to cause the angel any more stress then Castiel had already went thru.

"What's wrong Cas?"He asked sitting up as much as he could with a Angel laying on him

"I need to preform the binding ritual We we need to have our bodies joined for me to complete the mating the longer I deny the impulse to mark you the more painful it is for me Dean and I've been denying claiming you for a long time." Castiel said softly Dean sighed and sat up fully taking the angel with him settling the smaller man in his lap.

"See shoulda claimed me sooner ok so how does this work Cas cus Dean Winchester is not a bottom ever." Dean sighed cuddling the angel to him.

"I seem to prefer you holding me Dean we have to what was the term Sam uses 'make love' and well I'm still well I haven't." Cas broke off not looking at Dean

"You mean your still a Virgin?" Dean asked almost shocked

"I am a Angel we only ever 'make love' with our mate whoever that is we have no sexual desire for any other." Cas blushed

"So you never found anyone attractive but me?" Dean asked still awed by his angel.

"Yes Angel's only ever love once Dean." Castiel said softly eyes down cast afraid to look up Dean pulled his chin up made blue eyes look up into green and smiled softly and kissed the angel's soft sweet lips.

"Don't think about it Cas I'll show you I'll make love to you." Dean whispered softly over his Angel's lips running a hand lovingly over Castiel's soft cheek drawing a shudder to the smaller man and a smile to his own lips he could slowly make love to his Angel every second of every day and never get tired.

"Dean." His name was a whisper like prayer from the Angels lips it was breathy and full of love Dean groaned feeling himself grow hard at just one breathy whisper. Slipping his hand down Cas's neck playing with the curve of it enjoying the fact he could now touch the creature that had haunted his thoughts and dreams for so long. Running his other hand up the Angels hip and pulling him as close as possible Dean growled low in his chest.

"Damn Cas I'm never letting you go again I made that mistake once never again. You are mine now Castiel I'm a greedy man you will get so sick of how possessive I can be." Dean's voice was gruff almost growling agents Castiel's lips.

"No Dean never get sick of being with you." Castiel whispered brokenly between breaths making Dean growl again and nip at the Angel's lips making him whimper and shake. Never had Dean held someone so tenderly only kiss them briefly and get such a response Castiel was going to be very different from any of the women he'd ever slept with Castiel would be everything that Dean had ever looked for had ever wanted in another person. Moving his hand from Castiel's hip up to the buttons of Castiel's shit he slowly undid them one at a time. Then sliding it from his angel's shoulders he ran his hands over the Angel's thin body this body held so much power but had such soft touchable skin. Castiel surprised the hunter by shifting up and lifting His shirt up to pull it over his head he let the angel pull his shirt up and off.

"Cas I want to do this right do this slow with you but I can't control myself much longer." Dean shuddered as Castiel's fingers trailed along his chest. Castiel smiled joyfully he knew exactly how much he was turning the Hunter on. Castiel grinned at Dean's thought of how only He Castiel could make Dean feel so much that no one else could ever make him feel.

"Please Dean make love to me now." Castiel begged happy to be home in his hunter's arms Dean nodded unable to speak he leaned in to press his lips to Castiel's neck he shifted the angel to lay him on the bed. He ran his hands all over the angel's body kissing and nibbling on sweet soft skin he knelt on the bed between the Angel's legs.

He unbuttoned Castiel's pants and slid them off along with the angles underwear he stood throwing them to the side and looked at the amazing creature spread out wantonly before him never in his life had Dean seen anything so sexy. Castiel was for lack of a better word perfect thin but not scrawny slight muscle definition beautiful alabaster skin this Castiel had not seen any sunlight skin only blemished by Dean's lingering kisses.

"Damn Cas your beautiful." He breathed his admiration out loud gaze raking up and down his Castiel's body watching as Castiel grew hard under his gaze just because Dean was looking at him and had said how beautiful he Castiel had looked. Dean reached for his own jeans button he pealed down his zipper and removed his own pants letting them pool around his ankles and kicked them off and stood before his Angel barring everything to the one being who had seen his very soul and still Castiel loved him.

He resumed touching his Angel softly slowly savoring the untouched skin Dean pressed kisses to the inside of Castiel's thigh marking the skin softly with his own mark of possession he would have to put a ring on his angel's finger later after he made love to him he would mark the angel his every human way he could.

He reached over to the bed side table opened it and pulled out the KY lubricant He had stored there he sat it on the table and continued to softly caress Castiel's body making him quiver and cry.

"Please Dean!" Unsure how to ask for what he wanted.

"Okay Cas but I have to prep you first." Smiling he grabbed the bottle of Ky again and with the other hand pulling one of Castiel's leg over his shoulder. He opened the bottle slicked some of the lubricant on a finger and then rubbed the lubricant slowly easing a finger prepping the Angel for him. He smiled when the angel bucked his hips and panted Dean's name.

"Fuck Cas you keep making noises like that I won't be able to control myself and I'll take you before your ready." Dean growled sliding three fingers into the angel literally fucking the angel with his hand. Castiel bucked his hips in response moaning sweetly causing Dean to groan at the sound and damn was he hard harder then he'd been since he was a fumbling 16 year old screwing his virginity away with some woman. It was for Cas all Dean had to give Dean would give it to his angel Dean bared his soul completely to this being and know he'd make that same being his forever that thought left his shoulders feeling lighter and complete. He slowed his movements drawing sweet moans from the angels lips he would never get tired of hearing that sound.

"Please Dean I can't take anymore." The angel moan taking his fingers out he rubbed a bit of lube over his own cock and pressing himself to Cas's entrance and eased himself inside slowly and Fuck did it feel good Dean paused when he had made it completely inside He wrapped his arms around the trembling Angel and held him close.

"Damn Cas you feel so good." Dean growled reveling in the moment and burned the image of the angel beneath him into his memory. Then slowly started to make love to the angel kissing and nibbling at angel's lips and neck. They withered together coming quickly to the peak just before they reached Orgasm a blinding flash of light and a pair of beautiful grey tipped in black wings appeared on the angel and Cas reached out left hand to hand print on Dean's shoulder fitting the hand to the print it burned Dean for a moment as they came together. The raw energy that poured out between the couple could not be felt except between them they were complete and whole and finally satisfied but then again almost 6 years of eye sex as foreplay and denying the impulse will do that. They lay in the after math Cas breathing hard shaking clinging to Dean like he was the only one who could save him. Dean did something breaking all the rules _HIS _rules once again and held the angel tenderly kissing lips and forehead Whispering loving endearments. Dean Winchester broke his 1st commandment No chick flick moments but then again Cas had caused Dean to break every single one of his rules without trying so Dean just smiled Happily kissed his angel again and said softly.

"I love you so much Castiel don't leave me again. Will you allow me to tie you to me in every stupid human way I can?" Dean asked gruffly shoulder still twinging.

"Any and every way you want Dean. Oh and I love you too, you silly human." Castiel replied softly cuddling himself into Dean's arms that Dean will insist is way to adorable Cas will argue but inevitably give in and not disagree cus if it makes his human smile then Cas is on board with it. Being an angel of the Lord was exhausting but being Dean Winchester's Angel was something Castiel would never give up not even for God and now not even God could rip Dean from him Castiel smiled and was Happy and for the first time in century's he had a home.

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Wow so hard to get this chapter out still think its not quite right may fix it later but enjoy.

Thatz


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